2011

Narine Abgarian "Manyunya"

categorically recommend reading this wonderful book. Or contact the blog author .

" Bas came on the warpath, and what is meant by "Nikolai boz» "

Ba waged a relentless and exhausting war with its neighbor, aunt Valya. Neighbour Aunt Val was extremely grumpy and incredibly glazlivoy (as old-timers claimed Mankinogo quarter), the evil woman. Aunt Wali had three overgrown, zasidevshiesya an old maid, her daughter. And do not say they were ugly, so none of the young people did not pay attention to them. On the contrary, tetivaliny daughters were quite pretty, especially the younger Christina - a slim, elegant brown-haired beauty with a stunning golden eyes and curved in a timid half-smile lips.
whole reason failed personal lives of girls hiding in the most aunt Vale - his grumpy and obnoxious character she broke up all the potential Cavaliers their daughters. And those desperately in love with boys who are not scared candidacy aunt Wali as a future mother in law, were rejected by it under various pretexts - poor, stupid, unreliable, and look for someone similar! Daughters, forever crushed authority mother grew very gentle dumb creatures, said only in whispers and did not dare raise his eyes at his interlocutor.

husband's aunt Wali many years ago went to work in Kazakhstan, and more in the family did not return. On Virgin Soil He found a wonderful, quiet, and most importantly - accommodating a Russian woman, fell in love, and for the first time in my life felt like a man. Whereupon he unsubscribed to his wife a short-telegram "Do not expect me to pt, I do not fool the PTA to return your pt Petros.

And this mysterious sign "your Petros ever bowled Aunt Currency out of the rut. Because she lived the rest of your life in hatred for her husband and a woman who has separated them, but in his heart never ceased to amuse the secret hope that "your Petros ever settle down and return to the family. And in anticipation of the return of the prodigal Petros she turned into a living hell lives of their daughters, neighbors, and indeed all living within a radius of several miles around his home.

Viciousness aunt Wali passed on, even her whole living creatures. Cat Aunt Wali with a special sophistication and enjoyment of tyranny in the district all the creatures that are inferior to him in the shoulder at least a millimeter. Caucasian Shepherd Naida barked round the clock thus choking and fierce bark, as if someone from the corner constantly threw stones at her. Geese Aunt Valya were very combative and scary biting. Therefore, if we Manya out of the gate and saw a flock of geese tetivaliny, then immediately ran back into the yard. We had already a history of disgraceful attempt to join with them into battle. In the end we got away a couple of bruises from the crow's tweaks and never climbed on the rampage.

Aunt Valya with terrible force hated people. People respond the feeling, but, remembering her glazlivosti, tried not to show their dislike. The only person who is not afraid of Aunt Wali and led to her endless War of the Roses, was, of course, our Rose Joseph.

By pervosti Ba went to a grumpy neighbor "to talk of life, and kept hoping somehow alleviate the plight of her daughters were killed. But Aunt Valya instantly saw through the maneuver of Ba and rudely asked not to interfere in her personal life. I do not know what specific Expressions Aunt Valya "asked Ba," but by the time my acquaintance with Manya open conflict between the neighbors has passed for a dozen years.

war was absolutely merciless, and conducted with varying success for both parties. Yes, I must acknowledge with sorrow that BA could sometimes take a back seat to the onslaught of Aunt Wali. But in defense of the Ba I can say that first, such unfortunate lesions are rare, and secondly, to spur them, Ba next time revanshirovala with such a margin that Aunt Val retreated, licking bursting and stab wounds, and then some time at the sight of his mortal neighbors switched to another side of the street.

-Pooh - lightly fixed the facts of the shameful retreat of a rival Ba.

most terrible Rubilovo between Ba and aunt Valya happened in line for kitchen towels.
case was true. U Ba went white thread, and she hopped behind them in haberdashery. And accidentally found a happy moment on the counter, threw kitchen towels. Immediately formed a long queue, which, unfortunately, closes Valya aunt. And with a Ba had very little money. And she for some reason decided that in emergency situations, you can count on the law of the jungle, when watering is open to all animals, regardless of their volume, rapacity or herbivores.

-Val, you do not say that I have for you? "- Appealed to his arch-Ba neighbor - I'll run home for the money.

Here is how you would do in such a situation? Even though that just three days ago perelaivalis over the fence so that if no time podospevshie Misha, then everything would have ended a great blood? Somehow, I think you would be loaned Ba a certain amount of money, or posteregli its place in the queue.

But Aunt Val was not looking for easy ways.
-No, - cut off it - why do you towels when you clean the dishes window blinds? As much per mile can be seen for what they do you greasy!

It was a nasty blow in the stomach. All shivered and trembled. Everyone understood that the move to clean Ba did not pull such a vile slander Auntie Valya. And Bah, of course, did not disappoint the audience. Ba instantly flushed and void sumnyashesya, clung to Aunt Valya's hair.

Fortunately, in the back room store were two strong porter. She is not afraid up a sort of divide between the frenzied Ba and aunt Valley, and this saved the shop, visitors and merchants from the unenviable fate to be sprayed in the molecule. I do not know how behaved in this situation, store manager, but I'd be in his place sent for desperate young people award and sent in some sanatorium correct shaken overnight health.

Any, even the most brutal war ever necessarily end. To sign the peace agreements, indemnity paid to the winning party, to rebuild their shattered towns and villages.

I want to tell you about the sudden denouement of this bloody history. About how overnight Ba and Aunt Valya become good neighbors.
And for the integrity of the narrative is necessarily need to introduce yet one character - my granny, my mother's mother Anastasia Mednikova - Agajanova, because the long-awaited truce between the bitter neighbors happened when direct participation.

Granny lived in Kirovabad. And sometimes, when health permits, she came to stay with us. Each
her arrival was turned the incredible emotional and even physical pain, not only for my father, but for the most grannies.

First, the cause of these tribulations lay in a long-standing The story, as usual, all pretended to have forgotten, but actually remember every detail.
case was true. At the dawn of her marriage mom with the pope, in the absence of their individual apartments, living with Dad's parents.
And as a grandmother came for a few days visit with his daughter and son in law. It took with open arms, but since no other free rooms in the house was not, granny bed in the bedroom of my parents. Mom and dad gave her his bed, and themselves lay on the sofa. There. A dad at night itch to drink some water. He padded into the kitchen, came back, climbed sleepily into bed under the blanket to his wife, and habitually swept her into his arms.
-Oh! Ouch! - Squealed my grandma fire siren - Yura! It was not me! This is not Nadia! It's not there!

Dad survived a horrible shock that some time thereafter, almost heavenly mother in the face of a flashlight, before the night to get her into bed.
If before this incident grandma and dad just shy friend other, then after my father's attacks on babulinu honor, their relationship turned into a mutual torment. Love, who was hovering between in-law and mother-acquired a truly universal in its scope, but catastrophic in the form of expressions of character.

When dad came to work for lunch, Grandma, that not to interfere in-law trapeznichat, slipped on the balcony and sat there as long as Dad never went back to work.
-My son-in-gold - occasionally shouting it is in the balcony door.

Pope also did not let up. Firstly, he could not move away from the unfortunate history, and second - was in constant spiritual quest - Could not decide for themselves how to call his mother in law. Refer to it by the name he thought of familiarity, name and patronymic - a manifestation of cold, and called her mom did not let rabid male arrogance.

As a result of endless reflections, he found his method of communication with the mother-in. He turned to her indirectly, through his wife or daughters.

-Your mom already ate? - He asked his wife in the presence of Tiffany's.
-Oh, Eureka, Jean - bravely took by storm the Armenian "jan" my Russian Grandma - I already ate, do not worry.
-right - agrees with her dad.

-you to his grandmother poured some tea? - Fiercely drilled it at me.
-Oh, Eureka, Jean, thank you, I have popila tea - reported to Grandma and hastily added, warning the new Brainstorm dad - do not want tea. And coffee, too, do not want.
-Well, - my father agreed.
-My son-in gold, - flung up his hands Grandma.
-Mmmmye - lovingly bellowed in response to Dad.

If not much to find fault, it's Dad's "mmmmye" can be safely treated as a derivative of "mother". As a result, all were satisfied - and grandma, who believed that the Pope refers to it as a native man and father, who not stained their reputation of this man that the wife's mother called her mother.

-Your mom just ate? "- Come on, he sternly at his wife sitting at a table for lunch.
-ate-ate, - soothed by his mother - all already eaten, but you're the only one left.
-My son-in-gold - came from the balcony of callsigns.
-Mmmmye! - Covered in response to the reverent perspiration dad.

to at least occasionally interrupt this endless and exhausting in its incandescence of love poem, babulechka to his father's half-time went to sit in Ba. Go to Mannino home was close, so close to an hour of the day Grandma napudrivala tip of cardboard, painted lilies, powder, a drop dushilas their constant floral perfumes - have the same smell of valerian for the kill, saying to, tied a white lace scarf, put on a fine summer light coat and went to Ba drink tea. I am always with great pleasure accompanied granny. Firstly, it was one more reason to meet with Manya, and secondly, we are very love, opening their mouths, listen to stories told at tea with my grandma Ba.

my first acquaintance with babulechki Ba remained a byword.

-Anastasia - scraped leg of my grandmother - a veteran of World War II, a nurse. Widow.
-Rose Joseph, - stretched Ba - a veteran of a failed personal life, hereditary housewife with millionaires - the ancestors of the past. Also a widow.

Uncle Mike called them the gossips.
-gossips, - he laughed - how you manage understand each other? Speak in unison and on a completely different topic!
-grow to our relics, and then call names - snapped Ba.

And somehow my father turned out to be very a difficult day - morning, he spent two difficult operations. In order not to make him more tense, and at lunchtime, babulechka decided to visit Ba.

-Call Manet and ask whether it is convenient to go to tea, - asked me granny.
I rushed to dial the number.
-Hello, we are not auth ... aht ... ahtavatvechik! - Having reported to the tube Manya - please leave that they wanted to speak after the beep, beep!
I grunted. Mannino strange behavior is easily explained - we have recently watched on TV a movie and fell in love with a mysterious telephone, by which foreign evil millionaire received the message. And occasionally amused that respond to phone calls mechanical voice mailbox.

-Man, it's me, trying in vain - I snorted.
-Phew - angry Manya - could not immediately prevent, or what?
-We grandma soon come to you, ask Bah, it is convenient?
-Now - Manka hung up and ran noisily somewhere up the stairs - Ba-ah-ah-ahhh, Drug rings, said that they Nastivannoy want to come to tea, moooozhno?
-can of course - replied Ba.
Manya noisily poured down the stairs:
-Can - she gasped into the phone - and you bring us?
-Maria! - Blew the top of Ba - the ears otkruchu!
-Mom baked a cake "Bear" - often I am - always take with you for tea.
-ur - Manya gasped - I will go out to meet you!

We do not have time to get dressed, and Manya already ringing at our door.
-How long can you wait - she shouted from the doorway - where Ba is already brewing tea, and you still do not!
-go-go - clasped hands babulechka - already come out.
-cake, do not forget - worried Manyunya.
mother laughingly handed Manka package.
-Donesesh? - Asked.
-Tetnad, he nuts?
-with nuts of course - calmed her mother.
-ur - jumped Manka - my favorite. Thank you tetnad - she pulled, kissed his mother on the cheek and nose dived into the package - wow, and it smells like something!

minute we left the house and the solemn procession moved towards the Mankinogo quarter. And much alarmed, because almost immediately we began to reach the outskirts nesusvetny noise - barking dogs, roosters, geese cackle. We have added step. A minute later, it became clear - Ba Aunt Valya locked in a planned battle. And one by one soloist shrill laughter of the folk on the background of a goose and a dog barking.

-look at yourself - screamed that there is urine Aunt Valya - to build itself from Puritans, and itself almost every step son Controlling!
-Who are you such comments to me do - choked back Bah - completely crazy, daughters of the house does not let go! At the very personal life had no luck, so you decided to recoup these accidents?

We entered the gate and found a familiar pattern - Ba in the pose of Napoleon Bonaparte stood in the middle of the court, and swore in the direction of tetivalinogo home. Large slippers with pompoms strongly discordant with the general views of militant Bah, but who is to pay attention to such trifles!
Tetivaliny bulging eyes menacingly stuck out in response to the other side of the wooden fence. Because if Ba was high enough, and I saw Aunt Valya at a glance, the little aunt had Valais humiliating stretch his neck and stand on tiptoe to watch his yaromu opponent in the eye.

-Hi, Nastya, look what this crazy get up, - turned to us Ba - quite mad, she throws herself on the decent people!

-Girl, what you like small, - tried to reason with two irreconcilable enemies my grandmother - a shame, all the neighbors can hear you quarrel here!

-Anastasia - gave voice to the other side of the fence Aunt Valya - you intelligent woman, you have a doctor-in-law ...
-My son-in gold, - roused granny.
-Yes, yes, gold - did not argue Aunt Valya - please tell me how you can be friends with this hypocritical woman who always climbs to teach me how I should educate their daughters, while she did all she could to her son in-law quarreled?
-Oh ... - choked Ba - Oh yeah ... how dare you ... yes you know ...
-Dura! - Shouted from the other side of the fence Auntie Valya. Nicolai
-Boz "- did not remain in debt to Ba.
-Ghmpthu - choked cry Auntie Valya.

allow myself a little digression. "Nicolai Boz" in literal translation - "whore Nicholas, fairly widespread expletive in the north-eastern regions of Armenia. By Nicholas understood the last Russian emperor Nicholas II. No relation to Nicholas whore, of course, has not. Nicolai Boz - a woman who does his own unenviable profession for a long time, almost from the time of Nicholas II. Say well, a whore with a great experience. Very often, the people can hear expressions like - this is a very old story, almost from the time of Nicholas, or they have to Nikolaev currently living with us. Why do people associate the event with the prescription of the last emperor of Russia (not going to abdicate now), I do not know. I suppose that piety by the tsar in the people was so great that it is not weathered, even after years of Soviet rule.

return to our own, so to say, sheep.

-Nicolai boz! - cried Ba.
We Manko by surprise sat down. We had no idea that BA can afford such a terrible curse.
-Oh-oh - my babulechka crossed Ba - Rose, what are you talking about?
-E-them - dodged babulinoy Christian pinch Ba - Nastia, leave these things to baptized Orthodox Christians! There is nothing to shake me hand of his righteous!

-you very Nicolai Boz, I realized the old hag - finally found his voice Auntie Valya.
-I beg you - stood between them, my grandmother - I beg you, do not know how to communicate - just ignore each other.
Ba opened her mouth to reply granny, but did not say anything because that saw in our direction is the youngest daughter Christina tetivalina. She walked over to her mother and quietly whispered something in her ear.
Aunt Valya clasped her hands, groaned, and suddenly began to cry bitterly and angrily. And she ran to the house.
-What happened to Christina? - Came to the fence Ba.
-Oh, Aunt Rose - Christine cried, - now we are disgraced the entire city!

-Wait - stopped her Ba and turned to us - children, go into the house, we too shall soon.
We unquestioningly obeyed. Turned on the threshold and saw with my Ba babulechkoy fly into the yard tetivalinogo home.

-Is went to kill? - Manya scared.
-Let's call your dad - alarmed I.

We ran to the phone.
-Ala - Manya yelled into the phone, when Misha answered at the other end - Dad, come home soon, and then went to kill Aunt Ba Cur!
-There's my grandmother - I added fuel to the fire - you hurry, dyadmish, she had been an old, long hold Ba can not!
-maybe even 02 score? - Snatched I have a tube Manya.
-No need to dial 02 - barked Uncle Misha - sit at home and nothing more is done, for God's sake! I'll soon be.

And hung up. Pending dyadimishinogo speedy arrival we Manya Frozen mournful sculptural composition on the porch.

After some time with a loud roar to tetivalinomu двору подъехала машина скорой помощи.
-Убила,- всполошились мы и побежали к забору.
-Бааааааааааааа,- плакала Маня.
-Бабууууууууууууля,- орала я,- кто кого убииииииил?

-scrip you gone? "- Came to the brink of tetivalinogo home grandma. Sleeves of her for some reason were rolled up and in addition, she tied a large towel as an apron, - go the house, how long can you the same thing to repeat?

-Ba alive? - Shouted, wiping snot on the face, Manya.
-Live, of course - granny angry - that the foolishness are you talking about?

We trudged back to the house. Our grief knew no bounds.

-So Ba killed Aunt Valya - we have advanced through the mourning of our version.
-Her because posadyayayayayat - Manya sobbed.
-Posaaaaaadyat - I agree.
-Where are we with the daddy denemsya? - Went into mourning Manya.
-pereedeteeeeeeee to us - I patted her on the head - my poor sirotinushkiiiii.
-If I could have time poeeeest cake! - We lamented in unison.

While we are each other's arms, sobbing inconsolably on a couch in a room Mannino, were happening in the city entirely different matter. Terrible news with incredible speed up for this jump waves from tetivalinogo house on all four sides.
People shook their heads and even gloated - this is what brings a bad character, they said.

the arrival of the ambulance the town already knew - the elder daughter of Aunt Miriam Vale withdrew water. Well, that was next to my grandma. She has done everything possible to before the arrival of doctors from maternity and child did not happen anything wrong.

-After working up - shook their heads people - most importantly, when managed? From work to home and back to work, the team entirely female, do not go anywhere else, the eyes always on the floor! So that is what run deep in the quiet still waters!

Miriam gave birth to a boy like two peas similar to his grandfather.
him, naturally, named Petros.
Aunt Valya like replaced - she got into its own free use, though small, but Petros and forever say goodbye to your grumpy character.
She reconciled with Ba, and occasionally boasted of her achievements grandson.
-Today we are cool pokakali - she shouted over the fence.
Ba shuddered.
-Val, would you be quiet, people are not so you will understand - she admonished.
-Hay, Rosa - waved Aunt Valya - we have such happiness, but you're talking about people!

Over the next year two younger daughters aunt Wali, one after the other got married. Only Miriam stayed alone. And never opened to anyone who is the father of Petros.
-Hence, from a married man flew - sighing people.

But that did not matter. In Aunt Wali finally at peace.
Sometimes, it turns out to finish war, just to have a little Petros ..